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After a lifetime of battling my weight, I'm determined to win. This blog chronicles my journey. Stay tuned for the downs and ups of the scale, dieting, exercise, and life.

Obsession

I'd like to meet the person who can diet effectively without being compulsive. Cause that's not me. 2 weeks in, and I'm going nuts.

So here's the deal. I get 31 points a day on Weight Watchers. I also get 35 extra points each week to use as I choose. I can also earn even more points through exercise. For some reason, though I'm stockpiling my extra points like I'm preparing for nuclear war. I don't have a good reason to not use them, but when I do, I feel guilty. It's bizarrely paralyzing and empowering. I feel great and proud of myself for knowing that I can't eat crap now and crap later, but I just want to save them for something really good. And although something may seem really good now, how am I to know that something better won't come along that I could use them on later.

To put this into perspective, I used 2.5 of my weekly points on Monday. That leaves me with 32.5. I also have 24 activity points. That's more than 50 extra points...which is literally 5 extra meals worth of points. Or 4 Big Macs. I've never eaten a Big Mac in my life, but yeah.

Crazily enough,....just typing calmed me a little. I have to go to happy hour tonight. Having a cocktail will dip into my weekly points. I'm going to try to be calm and mature about it.


Maybe

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