After a lifetime of battling my weight, I'm determined to win. This blog chronicles my journey. Stay tuned for the downs and ups of the scale, dieting, exercise, and life.

I cannot eat standing up - and other lessons from this week

This week has been a combination of the Special K diet and the first week of the Beck Diet Solution.

I'm doing the Special K diet as a jump start. And so far have lost about a pound. I know it's probably water weight. Which is fine. I really just needed a week of focus. And that's what I got. I got a week where I learned what a real serving of cereal looks like. I also learned the difference between the 1/2 cup and 1/4 cup measuring cups (and that knowing the difference can really change what a serving of cereal looks like - after 2 days of eating 1/2 a serving because I was using the wrong spoon.

This focus really helped with my work on the Beck Diet Solution. Judith Beck is the daughter of a proponent of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), a technique of treating depression and other disorders that seeks to retrain the way that you think - thus changing your behaviors. It's kinda a chicken and egg thing - you change some thoughts and some behaviors at the same time...then other ones kinda get on the train. I'd used CBT for treatment of depression with great success. When I was evaluating the Beck system - the fact that it was based on CBT and that CBT has helped me prevent a serious depressive relapse in years was a big plus.

Now, Judith Beck would probably hate to see her name anywhere near the Special K diet. She'd probably also hate that I read ahead in the book rather than following the day-by-day method. And that I combined things that I read in her Beck Diet for Life book with things that were in the Beck Diet Solution book. So everything is all comingled. But the thing that has resonated the most and has made the biggest difference in my eating this week is that I can only eat when I'm sitting down. She makes the point that for many of us, calories that we eat when standing - the bite here and there, the "tastes" of food as it cooks, the handful of this or that - tend to not satisfy and are quickly forgotten rather than being integrated into our calorie counts.


Yeah - bells went off. All this week, with the exception of dinner last night because I was at a party and I can't really insist that I MUST SIT, I've sat. And wow - I've really liked my food. Nothing makes exactly 1 cup of cereal and 1/2 cup of milk more satisfying than sitting down at the table and reading a magazine while eating it slowly. Same with Tuesday - I had a work event and had very strongly resisted all of the lovely nibbles that were being passed - arrancini, cheeseburger sliders, beef shortrib bites, shrimp - and got home VERY hungry. First thing, I threw together a quick salad (lettuce, tomato, sprouts, peppers, onion, radishes). I munched on that, while sitting of course, to take away the hunger. Then I made my veggie burger with swiss and lettuce and sauteed onions and mushrooms. Most times, I would have made LOTS more mushrooms and onions because I would have eaten a good bit of it as it cooked - not this time. And wow - it was good.

And,most importantly, it felt good to have a goal, do it, and succeed. So I'm going to be sticking with the Beck. Get prepared to hear more about it.

My butt is kicked

Comcast has rearranged a lot of the on-demand exercise options, so I've gone back to my old standby -- magazines. When I last lost a lot of weight, Self and Shape were my companions. Filled with recipes, motivation, and sometimes great workout plans to do with little space and less equipment, these magazines were my go-to guide.

Overtime, they've fallen from favor. I got tired of hearing the same thing over and over. Often the exercises weren't reasonable and Shape now mostly has at-gym workouts that can only be adapted for home with more equipment than I'm willing to purchase (like Bosu balls or a collection of resistance bands). There's also a lot more magazines out there: Women's Health, Health - and fitness sections to other magazines (Glamour, etc) - whew...that's a lot.

But thankfully - there's also the internet. So rather than rooting around stacks of magazines for that one workout I once saw, I can spend 30-60 minutes finding great workouts.

Which is what I did last night when I found 2 awesome workouts at Women's Health's website

I did these two workouts, supersetting the moves (so all of the lunges together...etc). They fit together well, you just have to do the plie squat jumps with the squat and crunch. I also cranked up the tunes and danced a little bit in between sets to make it a little more fun and get some cardio in there.

No Gear Here

Tone Zone

Taking the Challenge

I'm all stocked up to take the Special K Challenge starting next week.

Yeah, I know.

I know.

REALLY, I know. If you know me, you know my special hatred for lose weight quick schemes. I have a tremendous and fundamental hatred for fad diets. But here's the deal: It was down to the Special K diet and the Master Clense. But....1)I have a lot of events coming up where food will be there and I just can't not eat. 2) I need to lose weight to fit into my Fall/Winter clothes. I have about 2 weeks before it's officially going to be fall in the Bay Area and it would be great to be able to wear 4 pairs of jeans instead of 2. 3) It's been around forever and it's not so much a fad any more.

There you have it. I've given in. I went online and they help you to plan out different meals. I'm all stocked up on cereal, crackers, bars, and shakes. Dinner will be something yummy and healthy. They have a great planner online and LOTS of coupons. I ended up with 2 boxes of cereal, 2 boxes of crackers, a box of bars and a box of shakes. The shakes are pricey ($5.99 for a box of 4 at target), but for lunch, that's just $1.25 each - not bad.

I'll keep you posted. And never fear - I'll be back to a sensible diet in 2 weeks. In fact, I'm starting the first stage of the Beck Diet for Life this week as well. More to come on that later.

Starting Over (Again)

I'm back. Defeated. Dejected. Depressed. And still weighing 235 pounds. I'd hoped that by now I'd weigh...200 - maybe 190. I expected to be back to at least a real size 16, maybe even a (large) 14.

But no.

Just like every other time, I crashed and burned. Life got in the way. I started wearing my hair straight. Work got busy. Everything else became a priority. And well, ice cream tastes good, and working out is hard.

So now I'm back. And not so gung ho. I'm actually pretty apathetic. Because although I want to lose weight. I NEED to lose weight. I don't know if I have it in me. I was in a tele-seminar yesterday and the facilitator asked: What can you commit to? And I don't know what I can commit to. I hate working out...well I do now that I'm huge and out of shape and am so far away from the exciting place of lifting so much the guys at the gym are impressed. I love food. I love everything about it - watching it being cooked, cookign it, talking about it, learning about it, reading about it. How could I possibly become one of those boring no oil, no butter, no salt, everything held on the side people?

So I'm back. Not sure what that means. Yet.