Obsession

I'd like to meet the person who can diet effectively without being compulsive. Cause that's not me. 2 weeks in, and I'm going nuts.

So here's the deal. I get 31 points a day on Weight Watchers. I also get 35 extra points each week to use as I choose. I can also earn even more points through exercise. For some reason, though I'm stockpiling my extra points like I'm preparing for nuclear war. I don't have a good reason to not use them, but when I do, I feel guilty. It's bizarrely paralyzing and empowering. I feel great and proud of myself for knowing that I can't eat crap now and crap later, but I just want to save them for something really good. And although something may seem really good now, how am I to know that something better won't come along that I could use them on later.

To put this into perspective, I used 2.5 of my weekly points on Monday. That leaves me with 32.5. I also have 24 activity points. That's more than 50 extra points...which is literally 5 extra meals worth of points. Or 4 Big Macs. I've never eaten a Big Mac in my life, but yeah.

Crazily enough,....just typing calmed me a little. I have to go to happy hour tonight. Having a cocktail will dip into my weekly points. I'm going to try to be calm and mature about it.


Maybe